Go ahead and travel - flying with baby made easier.

Flying….

Momma the baby will cry it’s ok!!!

I was on a flight today and this poor baby cried for probably an hour.  I am on my way to move my oldest out of the dorms at college… My heart ached so much for the mom - she was utterly embarrassed, tried hiding in the bathroom for a bit even.  Not to mention I know how it feels - you feel like everyone is judging you and cursing you BUT look most of us just feel bad for you and that little one who is probably just uncomfortable. 

But I know how the blood pressure starts to rise and the flood of cortisol is flowing over you in frustration - you just wanna scream or cry! I have done both so no judging here. 

Mom, I wish I had some great advice that works all the time but nothing works all the time for every kid. I will share some of the tips I have used with my kids though - and the truly best advice is just breath it’s ok!!!

You’re not inconveniencing anyone who matters, 99% of ppl just wish they could help you. 

Both my kids have flown on planes since they were like 6 weeks old and sadly they both suffered multiple ear infections through the infant and toddler years.  Knowing that now - I can only imagine the pain they felt while flying. As an adult my ears don’t enjoy the pressure changes- it hurts!!  I have given bottle or breast at take off which helped a lot.  I have massaged behind the ears gently which helped.  Hummed next to their little heads while bouncing them close to me.  Sometimes nothing worked and I think the humming was just kept me grounded - and you know what,

THATS OK! 

We do our best to read their little minds and comfort them but sometimes we can’t and we won’t. Don’t beat yourself up, there is another day tomorrow and when they are all grown up away at college you will remember the times you felt you came up short, and be able to see where they are and how far they made it anyway!

It’s okay you are doing amazing.

Momma Moments: Nurturing Self-Care tips

True, I am asking you to not follow the moms of the last 100 years and take a moment for yourself and your wondering, but how? While it would be awesome and optimal if you could have 20 minutes to yourself to go for a walk or sign up for a class - I know that isn’t always feasible.

So I will give you some ideas for self care with your tot and move into the more truly on your own ideas. I mean I didn’t know what all self love and self care really meant till I started…

Wake up… shower?

Hopefully right. When my daughter was young I would bring her into the bathroom on a blanket or in the part of her swing that detached (best feature ever). Now the length of the shower is dependent on if the little one is napping or awake and how self entertained they can be but a quick shower will do so much for how you feel over skipping it all together.

Eating? girl, a pop tart and cold coffee (unless your an iced coffee gal like myself) that is NOT going to help you stay fueled. Here are some options based on time you may have had before or just your preferences - make some pre-made frittatas for example or make some fruit pancakes that you freeze and pop in the microwave. Added benefit unlike a pancake you can eat standing up or doing something else IF you absolutely have to. In order to eat, you may need to take time to pre-make something but I swear it will save you a ton of time.

Exercise? oddly the younger they are the easier this one is as you can put them in the stroller and go for a jog / walk. I used to do some calisthenics while playing with her. A few squats grabbing blocks and sit ups with tickles. The older and more mobile she became the harder this got and more inventive I had to get! To be totally honest this is the area I truly wish I had done better and let slip more than I’d hoped. The awesome thing is my little one, has at least been a part of my exercise attempts over the last couple years, and loves to try to work out with me. Even if I am in my garage to do a few lunges, she comes out mimicking the moves or just attempting the cutest overhead press with 1 lb weights. She already knows that it is an important aspect of life.

Our last basic is sleep - you know that saying ‘sleep when baby sleeps’… lets be real not all that realistic! So let’s talk about how to sleep when that isn’t the case. It isn’t so much about finding time to sleep but making the best of the sleep- so the tips and tricks are to keep you asleep longer or back to sleep faster. I talked about the side by side bassinet (LOVE) makes night time wakings quick. I put a bottle warmer and mini fridge in my bathroom with a nice salt lamp night light - so I wasn’t walking out to the kitchen, turning on bright lights, waking the dogs… all things that would wake me up more. We found some sleep music we all enjoyed that would lure her and me back to sleep that played, if soft scents help you then incorporate that too. Anything to make it a calm space for you!

Yes I know…

I made that sound easy so let me tell you the harder part. Self love! Forgive yourself! Give yourself grace!

Download Free Tips for Excercise with baby!!

Shower anyone?

Momma let’s talk you!

You are wearing a newborn to clean, cook, sleeping with a baby mildly attached to you - you name it!

Have you showered???

Ate a meal while it’s remotely warm?

Had an opportunity to exercise?

Maybe you haven’t even noticed that you aren’t doing any of those things - I was one of those who didn’t really even notice I was too wrapped up in doing of all the other stuff… at-least for awhile but then when I noticed it became a strong point of added stress, more to-do’s that I wasn’t . maybe you don’t feel like your missing out on anything because you don’t want to spend a moment away from your baby. Well, don’t do it for you then - Do it for your baby!

When I wasn’t getting to do the basics for myself, let alone any of the other things humans should do on a regular basis to stay sane, well let’s just say the resentment - depression - anxiety - and even more stress all set in. I am sure you have heard the expression you can’t pour from an empty cup- the statement seems obvious and yet us moms try and do it all the time. We have learned from generations of moms that you are the giver and thus you give- to a fault. Our kids want us at our worst granted but we can give them our best a good majority of the time by allowing ourselves the moments in the day for self care. A shower, getting fully dressed, a whole meal- feeling your best from the inside allows you to give your best. I know that this allowance - the forgiveness almost you will need to give yourself in order to indulge in that walk around the block will be a challenge. Just hear me out though - Not caring for yourself is a spiral, and I speak from experience. We all know I have two birth babies right - my eldest was born at the “height” of my career taking off so I worked crazy hours I was out of town a lot - this poor baby spent about 12 hours in daycare every day. I felt that regret when my baby was born on a self conscious level (initially) so I stayed with her a lot more- she is also a “covid baby” so I was working from

Home for almost 2 years. The little ones personality is also more demanding - she was breastfed versus bottle so naturally around more. Well, I didn’t work out… like ever I just didn’t have the time I thought I needed. (The hour I would have done in the past- save that learning curve for another day because wrong again.). Well not working out, snacking between baby demands - has had an effect on my body. I have gained weight, libido is down, the internal hormonal wreckage is yet to be discovered- this is destroying my self esteem. Now I am fully aware of this cycle and this is our current day so partly while I felt I should share some self care topics with you is now I am trying to get back in shape and while that is not importing everyone it is to me and I know if I don’t I’ll start body shaming myself - commenting how fat I look in a picture - wearing u flattering clothes if I get “dressed up” at all. I do y want my daughter to see me doing that especially in Her young impressionable pre puberty years! See because if you wanted your kids to value self care to value self love then you have to do them too. It’s more than just not having the energy to give to your kids when your ran dry it’s that when you operate on empty they see that is how they should be and that’s surely not what we want for them.

So it’s never too late in your parent journey - my eldest and I do these things now too.

Tell yourself you can! These are habits to grow and start simple no need to jump in full with a spiritual mental and physical plan - just practice telling yourself it’s ok to do those things and try a brisk walk, a shower, sitting down for breakfast.

I have some mantra cards to share for a whole 30 days to reset your mind for forgiveness to yourself and self love. I know this isn’t easy and maybe you don’t know where to start- I got you! Next post I will give you some ideas on how to get after these self care tasks. (Because sometimes you are the only one around, and yes that make this a bit more stressful to try). Stuck with me mama - it’s a new world and you deserve to be taken care of too.

Just a couple hours of sleep please

Welcome back to our baby journey

In a recent post I discussed some of my favorite little things on a gift registry that included the co- sleep bed. That little contraption saved me when it came to my baby sleeping. Let’s be real though, sleep is not an easy thing to come by and surely not an easy thing for babies to accomplish. Being totally transparent as I write this my “baby” has just turned 3 and NO she rarely sleeps through the night at least what constitutes ‘my night’. According to a pediatrician she sleeps through the night, as it is just a 5 hour stint- and she does that and then some. Now, I have not tried sleep training or any variation of that and I don’t plan on it. If you do, because that works for you, then more power to you - I firmly believe everyone has to find their own path with that subject. My little one sleeps enough not to be tired and irritated. So why do we think babies should sleep soundly for hours on end - no idea. Let’s be honest, I sleep like crap when my husband is out of town, all alone in my bed. I have too many nights where sheer exhaustion is not overcoming my inability to get comfortable or quiet my mind - the idea a baby could overcome all that seems like a misplaced expectation more than anything. Anyway, it will pass and one day I will be stressed with her inability to wake up for school…

So what to do today?

The key now is to set up a good bedtime routine as early as possible for the little tot, stay flexible to fine tune it and be patient!!

I love lists so here I will provide a list of things to try for a better nights sleep with your little bundle of joy. Not all will work for your baby or you but the more tools to test the better. Below is our pick from the list that worked for us.

1. Calming bath - I used lavender scented soap from honest. This has been a sustain all her life.

2. Baby massage - I tried the storybook app on my phone to guide me through how to do this and she LOVED it… Most days. There were days I would put her on her belly to begin and she would protest and we skipped this step.

Keys to a good massage I found are a nekid baby, some lightweight lotion or oil, a soft surface (I used the baby changing mat). I set the lights down low and the App played music - she had a particular song she enjoyed so sometimes I would override the given song suggestion for the particular massage but experiment as needed.

Once the lights are low for the massage leave them low it helps stimulate melatonin build up!

3. Jammies & Story Time - Get dressed and settle into our rocker to read a story. She still loves story time before bed and frankly I believe this bit of her routine has a lot to do with her language skills now.

4. Feed & Snuggles - She was a breastfed baby so after a story we had a feed and some snuggles. Technically I think she still is - but that will be a discussion for later.

5. Swaddle - This step is key, so invest in something the baby likes. We swaddled her up and laid her into her bassinet or crib (I was blessed that I could move her fairly easily without waking, so we moved where she was depending on our bedtime). I had a few different swaddles that grew with her by this company zipadeezip. Check them out, we used them from 6mo to 2 years. Before that we used a standard lightweight blanket.

6. Sleep Music - We have an Alexa in her room and play music. Calm sleep sounds that lure her off to dreamland, that she now calls her “sleepy music” I kid you not, the same album now for 3 years! It puts me to sleep too - there is one song that I have to skip, reminds me of aliens but… that’s just me. If you check it out it’s “50 newborn sleep music on Apple Music” and I cannot stand track 15 called healing music.

The whole routine took about 30 minutes when she was an infant. Then the feeding took longer than the bath, now the bath is the longest part and stories can get extended when she pushes for just one more. But try to keep it short and simple. They love the routine and simplicity allows them to manage expectations.

The list has a few more ideas that we tried in variation and some I knew of and didn’t. Now that she is older we haven’t really adjusted it that much, except there is a “play time” before story and a teeth brushing with her bath.

I hope this gives you a few ideas to ease into the stressful time that can be bedtime.

NIGHT NIGHT

INSTANT DOWLOAD HERE
stan.store/chrishomeandfamily/p/instant-download-for-newborn-sleep-tips

Do I really need to clean that right now?

So that little bundle of joy is home and the maternity leave clocks is ticking… that is if you are working (I was) and as we talked before things that had changed in my ‘decade plus’, baby making hiatus - my maternity leave went from 6 weeks to 12 - Most awesome.

So In order to soak up all this baby time most efficiently you have to make some decisions on what you’re actually going to do about everything else outside of baby care. Be that cooking, self care and the house. For today let’s just talk the house - for me that was in fact my pivot point. I can not calmly sit down to relax if my house is messy. To be fair, if you ask my husband what I believe is messy and what most “normal” people believes is messy there are some major differences and I have a few personal struggles there.

So what do you need to actually keep clean picked up and tidy? It depends. I know, best advice ever - but seriously the room you should keep picked up is the room you spend most of your time in. That could be your room, the nursery, the living room… which ever it is. Keep THAT room picked up. Next is the kitchen - just a general wipe down of surfaces will do - nothing serious.

Same goes for the bathroom- if you can wipe down the sink and toilet you are good to go. Don’t worry about regularly scheduled laundry or scrubbing the bathtub even. These first few weeks - it’s forgiveness and some general cleaning tips. I have provided a free checklist of simpler tasks to get done every week and a handful of tasks to try to accomplish daily for your sanity. Give yourself grace and allowance not to have that instagram worthy space for a little while! Trust me everyone will appreciate you choosing a nap or a shower over dusting the furniture. You got this!

GRAB THE CHECKLIST HERE: https://stan.store/chrishomeandfamily/p/get-the-newborn-cleaning-checklist-

The registry items that made their debut for number two.

You are probably not a first time mom if you follow my page, so the concept of a registry and what you have decided was an absolute waste of money likely still stands. However let me be the first to inform you that so much has changed and the new stuff is epic! Just act like a newbie and enjoy the hunt.

For starters my biggest upheaval in veteran “momming” was the absence of stores like “Babys-r-us” and that scanner, which you used to make your registry are no longer things. Get out your phone and scan barcodes, pictures, or heck you don’t have to go to the store. I built my entire registry on the couch with the help of Amazon, I will share all my links with you. There are obvious benefits and convenience to that - unlimited time to research for example; pinterest’s many “best of lists” (yes like this one). Then the downfall that you didn’t get to see it, touch it, try it out- granted I was pregnant during the height of Covid, nobody was going to let you put your grimy hands on anything in a store anyway.

So let me share with you those items that either drastically upgraded since my eldest or the newest go to gadgets I loved.

The video baby monitor! This was actually so unreal to me that you have to try REALLY hard to find a baby monitor without a camera. I went with the owelet and sock - and my daughter just turned 3 I still have the camera up. It is great when I am out of town to do a little spying or just to see why noises are coming from her room, when she should be sound asleep. 10/10 recommend the owlet camera. The sock while should have been a great piece of mind, and I used it until she started rolling all over and kicking it off - I found I was far more anxious wondering if she was ok and chicking it then I probably would have been without it. I mean I know for a fact I wasn’t that worried about my eldest and seeing her every vital - funny how we adapt our needs to what information we could have. https://amzn.to/3T6sBnR

The Halo bassinet https://amzn.to/3P9LZiM or any version of a bassinet that basically becomes a tiny extension to your bed. Truly why did it take so long to invent something this simple. The ease of night time feeds after this, no more red eyed zombie mom! You still won’t sleep, but those minutes start to add up - I could just slide her right over to breastfeed and that was amazing. I couldn’t bring myself to purchase the actual HALO, and got a cheaper version. https://amzn.to/3wC8INS I ended up really liking it better, it had 3 sides, so while I couldnt use it if I wasn’t in bed it was really nice at night. Whatever method of sleep you believe in is pretty much easier this way.

While we are talking sleep - the various new versions for swaddles, and weighted swaddles. I remember having my hand on my daughter and ever so slowly lifting one finger at a time to escape her room - just to have that last bit of pressure being removed wake her up. Get the Nest! https://amzn.to/3P9MnxK I know what we did last time worked but seriously you will thank me later.

The Dock a Tot - for all of us that just put the baby in bed with us, pediatrician recommendations be damned. Well they made a compromise for you. Now I use the phrase “dock-a-tot” which became like “q-tip” there are multiple brands and I found there were some super cute options and patters on Amazon, still in concept 10/10. We took the baby camping when she was little a lot and that became her perfect sleep space. https://amzn.to/3P9Ms4s

As you probably are noticing a lot of stuff about how to get the baby to sleep… my daughter had so many tummy issues and horrible gas. She was breastfed, so I manipulated what I ate and nothing really worked. I was given the windi by Frida, and it took me probably 3 months to give it a try - I mean it just seems awkward. However.. WOW that thing works amazing. https://amzn.to/3V7VWRn I have grown to love the brand and nearly all their gadgets. I still use the nose sucker, which also feels weird to do but works way better than the strange ball I used on my eldest.

Moving from sleep to milk - there really isn’t that much else at this stage. I had three different bottle warmers, they are relativly cheap we had a two story house so one in our room, one in the kitchen and a to go one. Since bottle warmers have improved but seemed like an unecessary area to try out the latest upgrade so I did not. However the idea I could warm a bottle on the go meant I could travel more freely and I jumped at that idea. https://amzn.to/3P9PLJ1 I had the baby brew, it could be used with different size / brand of bottles and after dumping just one full bottle I figuered out how to properly use it. Truly that was on me, and not an issue with the intuitive design.

The last gadget they invented was the cordless breast pumps. I loved them so much, I had two. Not sure if they invented them for us and our ability to get off a couch or the social pressure for us to keep working, get back in shape etc. Whichever is your driving force you will thank me later. I had the Medela freestyle https://amzn.to/48KWn7F It had a cord to its pump but I didn’t have to plug it into a wall or anything. Now, the Elvie was full on no cords and even fit under a shirt. https://amzn.to/3uYKI7k it was pricey but honestly I felt so much calmer just being able to clean up the house.

I hope that you find this list helpful, as technology evolves and the good idea fairy brings us all the newest gadgets to make our life easier. This list surely doesn’t include all the new items but in my humble opinion these are the ones worth having. For a quick list of the tried and true oldies but goodies I have provided that below.

Diaper Genie - https://amzn.to/433zMSt (nobody wants smelly diapers, even if you have to walk the diaper to the other room, be real just because you changed the baby on the couch- your not leaving that poopy thing there).

Sound Machine - https://amzn.to/3T8uXm3 (this is the Hatch, and that is new but I had a sound machine for my eldest and it hasn’t changed all the much really). Still good to have.

Car Mirror - https://amzn.to/4389Sgn (its a mirror, needs not to have extra bells and whistles)

Baby Swing - https://amzn.to/48GCe2l (while I have met a baby whom couldn’t sleep in the car, I havent met one who dislikes a good old fashined swing - the new acrobatics of some of these is highly over rated)

Pack n play - https://amzn.to/4c5Gawp (for all its multiple uses, still a must have).

Old - New Moms

Apparently I am an old-new mom, societies nicer way to say you became a parent a bit older in life. It is better than geriatric, which was the most enduring term for my pregnancy with my second daughter. Either way I think it is just a bit illogical; 35 is fairly young given the number of years we have the pleasure of mensuration. Let’s do some light math for a minute; what is the “perfect” age to bear children? My middle daughter is 12 and just joined our tribe, and clearly nobody wants a young girl of such age to be having babies. Our brains are not fully matured until the age of 25, so for the sake of argument let’s say that would be the earliest age. Average start time for menopause being 50. IF they recommend you stop having kids at 35 - that only leaves 10 good years to find a mate, and have a couple babies that are perfectly separated by 3-4 years ensuring each kid gets ample one on one time with you. While you are still stuck with 15 years left for mensuration. Sooo no I think you could reasonably have kids into your early 40s. Woman are living well into their late 70s, early 80s - you got the time! So go ahead have the babies when you are ready and don’t let anyone judge us when we do.